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Posts Tagged ‘funny poems’

 It begins shortly after I serve my two boys
a plate of white cookies and some chocolate milk,
while I’m dipping my burnt whole wheat crackers
 
(the English call Melba toast and sell to us suckers)
 
into chick peas I could have squashed myself,
 
(but purchased as hummus instead)
 
when the questions appear about opposites,
but quickly become infected with laughter
 
(in between chewing [...]

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A poem in response to (or stolen from, depending on your perspective) a friend’s poem.
 
No posts
No signs
No symbols
No music
No meaning
No sonnets
No turning
No land
No secrets
No business
No present
No past
No knowing
No dreaming
No sequels
No man
No order
No echo
No loom
And no time
No standing
No making
No art
No mankind
So Soon
No moon
No ocean
No searching
No thoughts
And then,
Never mind.
Copyright © henry toromoreno, 2009. All rights reserved. With due [...]

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This product is intended for daily use
to write, draw, scribble, scrawl
and put ideas down on paper. It does
not protect against laziness, sloppiness,
and other socially transmitted diseases.
 
Benefits of daily use may include but
are not limited to improved creativity,
more original originality, a firmer grasp
of daily scheduling, increased productivity,
and mastery of fine motor skills.
 
Use of this product does [...]

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     1st of all
       you never read
       so why would you
       ever have a book
       in your hands
       except to hide
       your guilty mug
       from me?
          2nd of all
       you’re holding a
       crossword puzzle
       book which requires
       work which you
       hate and a writing
       instrument
       which you never
       have so why would
       you be looking
       [...]

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On the same day
     that the Large Hadron Collider
     was turned on to peel away
     the secrets of the universe
          by smashing circling atoms
          at near absolute zero
          at nearly the speed of light
     into each other
I had to listen to someone
     tell me how Nostradamus
     had predicted that this
     day would come.
I explained that [...]

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You call this an opportunity?
It’s more like a post
     behind enemy lines
where I find myself
     running ahead, falling behind
I’m not so sure it’s
     worth the effort or  the time.
What is it that we do,
     me and you?
Seems everyone around here does it too.
I should have checked
     the fine print in the ad, like I been [...]

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Alias and Pseudonym
met in secrecy
Pseudonym told Alias,
“I hear you tried to pass as me.”
“Ridiculous”, said Alias,
“That rumor is absurd.
The truth my friend
is more different than
anything you’ve heard.”
“Just recently,” said Alias,
“someone employed me,
to obfuscate, then recreate,
their identity.”
“So what,” said Pseudonym,
“I thought that was our job,
we’ve been doing this for quite a [...]

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